My apologies: This is probably the most unappetizing post I'll ever write. But the fainting stories were such a hit, and this one really is funny.
Remember the woman who faints when she eats too much?
We’ll call her Katy. Being a fainter, she has a few good stories up her sleeve. This is one of my favorites:
Katy and her husband were at a wedding in Vermont last July. It was perfect: a beautiful meadow, mountains in the background, bridesmaids in cornflower blue, and a line of tuxedoed groomsmen, including the bride’s younger brother.
So baby brother had been out drinking with the guys the night before, and had skipped breakfast that morning. Naughty brother! (That's the food connection, btw).
Suddenly, standing up for the groom began to seem like a very tall order indeed. The bride’s parents watched as he turned green and began to sway. By the time he actually hit the ground, they were ready. They raced in, propped him up, and dragged him to a chair in the front row.
Flustered, but determined, the young couple resumed their vows.
That’s when the dry heaves began.
Overwhelmed by all those tequila shots, baby brother’s system was doing its damnedest to shake off the poison. But the well was dry, so all he could do was put his head between his knees and roar.
Now the entire wedding party was beginning to look pale. So the bride’s father did what had to be done, and dragged baby brother off across the meadow. The wedding resumed, and the couple got hitched without another hitch. But the caterers couldn't help noticing that the guests were unusually restrained at the buffet line.